2 posts tagged “tribe”

Read this in October's Fast Company, loved it:

"Every morning, take royal jelly and omega-3 oil, eat oysters, and have a good sexual life.  Don't care about anything, and never listen to anybody.  Be free."

Okay, so today my mom called me again to ask about what to bring to dinner at our friend Candace's house. (Candace sprained her ankle.) Yesterday, she reported that Candace had told her on Sunday that she was making spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.  Mom had planned to bring pasta with meat sauce.  Was that too much pasta in a few days?  Did I have any other ideas? But nothing with chicken that would have to be re-heated.  And nothing that Tom would have to cook on the grill.  And something the teenaged boys would eat.  And...you get the idea.

I sent mom several recipes off the Internet that had no chicken in them and travel well, since she'll be driving down for dinner.  A quick pop in the oven was all they needed.  They were too Betty-Crockerish, she said.  How about quiche?

My mom is a very smart woman.  On Saturday, she delivered a talk to Lupus patients covering the latest possible medical information they could have on how to care for themselves.  (My mother has Lupus herself.)  And yet, despite her vast wisdom, she hung herself up for three days about what to bring for dinner at Candace's house.  She was struggling because she didn't want to do the wrong thing.  She didn't want to appear uncreative, or make people eat something they'd be bored with, or whatever.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Candace is going to be so thrilled with my mom's presence, she won't care what's for dinner.  Her husband Tom will be so happy not to cook, he'll gladly eat whatever she brings. And the boys will wolf down whatever it is, and be gone from the table 5 minutes later.  Yet in my mom's mind, the whole night will be a bust if she brings the wrong thing to eat.  She doesn't want to disappoint The Tribe. (More on The Tribe later.)

Are your measurements of yourself balanced?  Are you so concerned with what others think that you don't leave any breathing room for yourself?  When you're panicked about a decision, think about it from the other side: what's REALLY important here?  Is this the most important thing?  Or am I missing the big picture?